Films Outside the Loop

Jeanne Chappé


 

Cold Dog Soup (1990)
This is one of the darkest, wackiest movies that I have ever seen and after watching this movie...I will now think twice before asking for a doggie bag!

At a health club, Michael (Frank Whaley) sees a beautiful woman...Sarah (Christine Harnos). Meeting beautiful women is Michael's only reason for belonging to a health club and he follows Sarah into the Jacuzzi. Sarah invites Michael to come to dinner at her apartment that night. Sarah lives with her mother (Sheree North) and a crotch sniffing, olive eating dog, Jasper. Sarah has one hand covered by a glove at all times which is apparently because a large piece of machinery fell in love with her and tried to consume her body! Too bad that it only consumed her hand.

Michael arrives at Sarah's apartment bearing begonias and all hell breaks loose shortly thereafter. Jasper eats quite a few anchovy stuffed green olives and he drinks what appears to be a marguerita. Jasper then dies! I think that the begonias die with him. The 'kiss of life' scenes are hysterical. When it is determined that Jasper is actually quite dead...Michael is given the task of taking him out and burying him IMMEDIATELY. His incentive for doing this is to get into Sarah's underpants. She refers to herself as the "suck oven" and the "pressure cooker"! What guy wouldn't take a dead dog (in a plastic bag) out in the middle of the night for burial with that prize in mind?

While standing on the curb with a dead dog in a trash bag, Michael is picked up by Jack Cloud (Randy Quaid) who drives a station wagon that is impersonating a taxi cab. Jack convinces Michael that selling a dead dog is far better than making the dog 'worm food'! This begins a night of incredible hilarity starting with a furrier who says that Jasper is too old to go through the tanning process! At a Chinese restaurant, Madame Chang (Nancy Kwan) says that Jasper has been dead too long to make "cold dog soup" even if you add watercress, white pepper and a few scallions. As she says "I can't serve stiff dog. It's not fair to my customers". I'll let you find out what they want to do with Jasper's ears.

There are guns and road warriors (with one soft heart). There is a voodoo priest who contacts Jasper's spirit and JoJo (Seymour Cassel) who wants to put the dead Jasper on the auction block. This is the final straw for Michael. This movie is the ultimate shaggy dog story!

There are great cameo performances in this movie and Randy Quaid plays Jack Cloud with a wonderful and manic innocent cunning.

Grab your shovel and dig a doggie grave.........

Runtime: 1:29

This film is available on DVD, VHS, cable or satellite.



This column is dedicated to those films that most of the world missed!

Back to Jeanne Chappé's Films Outside the Loop

Copyright © 1999, 2007 Jeanne Chappé, all rights reserved
This material may not be republished, rebroadcast or redistributed in any manner